Friday, February 16, 2007

You ain't tryin if you ain't cheatin'

Go Nascar!

You know, I don't mind "cheating" as doing things that aren't in the rule books. After all, Germany Schaefer was an uncle of mine. (He stole second, trying to draw a throw from the catcher, to let the guy on third steal home. It didn't work, and he was safe at second. On the next pitch, he ran back to first base, to position himself to try the sacrifice steal again. Due to his actions, and the draconian baseball rules at the time, he was summarily shot by the bench coach (that position having then been known as the "mastro titta") of the Washington Senators.)) I enjoy the story of the Nascar driver who, when confronted with fuel tank size restrictions, installed 100 feet of fuel line adding gallons to his car's fuel capacity. Comedy! That's cheatin', and I applaud creative rule-reading. But real cheating? Breaking rules that are already codified? Maybe I'm nuts, but I see a huge wall there separating those two concepts.

And once again, for the record, Nascar on Fox is hands down the best television being done today. They actually have cameras installed on the bottom of the cars to see the brakes getting red hot. I think I heard that next season they're actually putting Fantastic Voyage-style telemetry inside the bodies of the drivers. "His heart rate is really going up on turn 6, Jimmy. What do you think is the cause of that? Well, if you look at his sphincter on turns 4 and 5, and I think you can see he's probably got hold of some bad puerco here in beautiful Daytona Beach, Florida!"

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