First in a series...

Of dating euphemisms translated. Things people say, and what they mean. Or what one can reliably infer. "Friends first" = Still has a regular booty-call. You will be auditioning. "Never a dull moment" = Bipolar Disorder. "Sarcastic" = Mean. "Sick of the bar scene" = Not getting any. "Driven" = Nuts. "Fun-loving" = Please entertain me. "Christian" = Needy; judgmental. "Avid traveler" = Bad credit. "Need someone who can keep up with me" = Virgin. "Classy" = Not classy. "We are a polyamorous couple seeking same" = Morbidly obese. "I can't believe I'm on this site" = I won't respect you because you were on this site. "Always up for adventure" = Messy apartment. "Down to earth" = Almost out of bankruptcy. "laid back, hip" = Judgmental, high strung, not hip. "My friend made me do this" = Easy. [For entertainment purposes only, past performance not an indicator of future results, etc.]