Saturday, April 30, 2005

Saturday morning!

I've got access to the big screen and vast cable tv options (birdsitting), and what do I watch? Lizzie McGuire and America's Test Kitchen. Worse, I stumbled onto a very special Lizzie McGuire, where the Filipino girl has a 22 minute eating disorder. Oh well, the mom is just as hot as ever and that's the point.

Way Better Than NBC

Alice Peacock

Friday, April 29, 2005

C. Montgomery Burns Trivia!

What's Mr. Burns' first name?

Maybe others have known forever, but I just now was reminded.

Bird sitting!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Mini Med School TV!

Another favorite TV show. A half hour of fairly in depth, intelligently presented information on various medical topics.

Friday, April 22, 2005


Billiards enthusiasts in Alsip can continue to play into the early-morning hours.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Ashlee Simpson's rider

Hilarious, but not in the usual backstage rider kind of way.

More uselessness from the Chicago Tribune!

John Kass ladies and gentlemen!

Wait, I forget. Are you Catholic or not?

Finally, this Pope's past is both relevant and newsworthy on its own, but especially compared to the past of the former pope. Nobody is saying that being German makes you a Nazi or a bad person. But does a history like that qualify a man for Pope? Apparently. But back to John Kass- it's relevant to more people than just anti Papites, jackass.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The cow is now

Mr. Regular guy himself speaks.
For the four of us, it is $2,300, including tax and tip. And it would have been about $450 more if the Soldingers hadn't thought to bring their own wines. (Don't try this at home—or in Paris, kids. At least not without someone like Larry and Edie to arrange it all in advance, including any corkage fees.)

Some viewers who watch me weekdays on the Fox News Channel and friends (even my own mother!) had forbidden me to come to France because of its stance on the war with Iraq. I had made on-air phone scams convincing restaurants around America to change their French fries to "freedom fries" to protest what I view as France's betrayal of every American boy who died on the shores of Normandy.

So was my trip hypocritical?

I hope not.
Well, gee, of course it was. He went so he could have a nice meal, despite their "betrayal of every American boy who died on the shores of Normandy." The pointing out of and capitalization upon said betrayal being what earned him the money for the trip. I *think* that's sorta the definition.

What personality will he display next?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Good news bad news

So I was talking about my hard drive crash of a few weeks ago. Well, I've finally managed to recover many of the files. Bad news? They have been recovered- but they are sorted into directories by extension and named genericly. FIL00001.jpg, FIL00002.jpg, and so on forever. Porn, porn, porn, picture of dead grandpa, picture of tiger carrying it's young, porn, screenshot of Family Guy, clown porn, porn, and so on. 88,000 files. So that should be a fun 300 hours of work sorting that all out.

Had to buy new speakers for the Contour today. The passenger speaker crapped out, and it turns out that's annoying. The people at Best Buy were engaging in silly hat day, which means they're just wearing their regular hats while working. I didn't think I was an old man, but it turns out I was offended. Seemed awfully casual for a place that is normally pretty casual. I almost cracked at the clown working in the Car Audio Death Chamber, after he asked if he could help me, "not till you take that stupid hat off". Almost. But I got me some kickin' Pioneers. And most importantly, they fit perfectly without any modifications. They sound exactly $70 a pair better then the stock ones.

"The Newsroom"
on PBS is terrible.


Tom Snyder has a blog! And cancer. But he seems upbeat about it. I enjoy his writing style.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Al Sharpton's Casa de Sushi?

Horatio Sanz as Dennis de Young? Well done, you crazy entertainers!

EDIT: Nice work on the Super Bowl Shuffle skit. Hilarious. But no shout out to Payton? For shame. What *IS* McMahon doing these days?

Why was Maury Buford dancing backup for the Jim McMahon solo Stay in School Shuffle?

Doug Flutie is still playing? Poor bastard. I thought he had retired to comical GEICO commericals.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Mystery Solved! and Enraged!

So, since I can remember, I've had problems with my shirts. Wash them and get ready to iron them when I'd notice spots. Not entirely unlike the grease spots I'd get working at McDonald's. These are more 'artificial' looking, like I accidentally got into some silicone grease. And they don't wash out very well. It's been driving me nuts. Now this time, I got a bunch of these damn things on a brand new shirt. Serenity now!!
Thus pissed off, I launched an investigation. Working backwards in the laundry process (and since the iron was already on), I got an old shirt and sandwiched a dryer sheet in it. Hit it with the iron and instantly I've got new spots. The fucking dryer sheets are doing it! So, watch out for that.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Seems like a good idea

The 65 percent solution. Make it law that 65% of all educational money be spent directly on classroom instruction- books, teachers, classroom computers and so on. It seems telling that the worst school districts spend the least percentage of their budgets on classroom instruction. Seems like a better plan than doing nothing.

Though I wouldn't mind a portion of that money going toward some real research on educational methods and curriculum- how and what to teach the teachers to make them better teachers. That is sorely lacking, I think.

Saturday, April 09, 2005


Wow, that Cameron Diaz. Hot as hell, bad actress.

1- Kelly Osbourne lost weight?

2- Hey Greenday- the Cure called, and they want their gayness back.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Best technology ever



Now it's drywall.

Processing the process of process!

Time magazine delivers 3000 words on how the reporters are handling the death of the pope. Numbing. My favorite:
Everyone was obviously in a race to be first to break the news, which was simultaneously released to dozens of news outlets via an email from Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls. As AP's veteran Vatican correspondent Victor Simpson put it, “In a case like this you just don't want to get beat.”
Is there really any value in being first to report the widely expected death of a sickly 84 year old whom the world is watching? Less sarcastically, is there any value in scooping your competitors in the reportage of what amounts to a press release? "We totally scooped those bastards at Fox because their fax machine jammed." Just not really in the spirit of the spirit of scooping the competition...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005


Hackers Write Spyware For Cash, Not Fame

More than 70% of virus writers are now writing spyware under contract, one more piece of evidence that hacking has evolved from mischievous hobby to money-making criminal

Local Elections! and Etc.!

  • Got to vote for a guy I know. He is running for Park District Commissioner. Huzzah!

  • Seems like the 30 some odd year incumbent, banana republic-style administration of my suburb is getting booted out. In favor of a guy who went to high school with my dad.

  • I voted around 4:30. Only 25 people had voted at my precinct all day. There were four election judges, two elderly ladies (complete with oxygen tubes!) and two 19 year old kids. They were playing cards, and I joked around with them all for a minute. Good for them.

  • There is something dramatic about the Pope there, complete with staff and hat, laying on the plinth like that. I might want that for mine.

  • They had the "welcome home, winners, kinda" for the Illini down in Cham-bana. Man, that Governor Blagojevich is one uncharismatic guy. He sounds like that SNL character Jacob Silj. (Can't remember my own name, but pulled that up no problem. Delicious!) It's surprising, given the rumors of infidelity and baby-mommas. Usually guys who get into that trouble are more charming. Maybe that proves the rumors are false? Anyway, how 'bout that Coach Weber? I like that guy. Fred Willard would play him great.

  • Did some plumbing here at the house. Had to tear out part of a wall (dining room) to get to the works behind the shower (*). That actually was a way easier method, so kudos to me on that. See, the shower flow had been getting worse and worse. I changed everything I could on easy side of tearing pipes apart to no avail. There was obviously a chunk of crud blocking something. Ohhhhh and there was. I mean terrible. So, I installed a shutoff and re-piped the hot side of the supply. Once I got it to stop leaking, I tested out the shower. Fantastically delightful! Almost too much flow. I will enjoy it! Meanwhile, I is tired.

    Happy Kyne

    (*) Can't tear out the shower walls because when I redid that a few years ago, I made them out of concrete. Screw that greenboard shit. What's nice about it is that you can install it exactly like drywall- score it with a utility knife, snap it and put it up with screws similar to drywall screws. The only trick is the transition back to drywall. Have to be artistic with that.

  • Monday, April 04, 2005


    I love this quote:
    "Honest to pieces, I know practically nothing about the damn game," he said. "I pay attention to the dunk. That's the only thing I wait for."
    From this story on the invention of the spring-loaded basketball rim.

    How 'bout those Illini?

    Confidential to the various hicks gathering in St. Louis and talking to the television cameras: There's no noise in Illinois! (Translation: the 's' ain't talked out loud.) It's a French word for whatever the Illinois Indians called themselves.

    Sunday, April 03, 2005


    A couple quick reviews-

  • American Beauty. Some love it, some hated it. I think the haters didn't get it: he won. He took control of his life (for the wrong reasons), and ended up getting a lot more than he was looking for. The ending was just a way to frame the story of the ressurection of a flawed man. Cinematically, it was nice to see something that was different and successful at telling a story well.

  • Fahrenheit 911. Utter piece of crap. If his is the only smart position, why does he have to resort to manipulation and leading questions to make his point? Present the facts and the viewer will get it. He uses the way the Saudis (as if any counrty can be a monolithic bloc) spend their money to divine their US destroying intentions- they funded al Queda!!! But they have trillions invested in the US. Which also proves they want to destroy us? It plays sinister on the big screen, but the logic seems contradictory and circular. He speaks of deadly serious issues, yet he makes stupid Bonanza jokes? Tasteless, and he would not let his enemies slide on something like that. Finally, how many working-poor military moms did he interview before he got one that paid off?

  • Frockumentary!

    "Witness to Hope" is a moving documentary on the life of Pope John Paul II, and/or a look at the twentieth century through the lens of a catholic born in Poland in 1920.

    Friday, April 01, 2005


    The 1957 Aurora.

    Cookie Monster

    I'm still not old enough to not be entertained by the Cookie Monster. He was on the WGN morning news insanity fest promoting the 36th season of Sesame Street. My favorite line? [read as Cookie Monster, remember] "Me like the new set. Welcome to the 90's."

    This is him eating a can of hairspray.