Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Good TV

Welcome to PBS. I was watching this show tonight, where some people went diving in the aquifer under Florida, while they were radio located by two hikers above. Wacky. They dive into a disappearing stream, and come up in a garbage-filled sink hole a mile away. Meanwhile, the divers stop at someone's well pipe while the locators above them wonder why they stopped- and then notice the well going into the house.

They just found a dead mastedon at the bottom of one of the sink holes. Cool. Really worth watching if you can find it.

Monday, November 28, 2005


Something about introverts. Why can't I just be in the middle, rather than wildly vascillating between hermitism and screaming?

EDIT: Ran across this: http://www.learningplaceonline.com/relationships/friends/caring-introvert.htm

I can't tell you how many times some fool has come up to me and said "smile, don't be so serious," and I would then spend the next two hours talking myself out of punching them in the throat.

I may be moody today, however.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


[Edited for clarity]

I couldn't have said it better than Professor Vega$ did, so I simply agree with the sentiment.

And offer a few of my most favorite Thanksgiving sounds, starting with seriousness and ending with obscure humor. Largeish files.


EDIT: Godammit, the uploading isn't working. Standby.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Future!

The Barenaked Ladies arew releasing their next album on a USB flash drive. Will the future lead toward this type of thing (yes) or something like Sony's DRM fiasco (no)?

Monday, November 21, 2005


Freeport, Illinois: Where every road is named 20. US Route 20: Gateway to Dubuque, Waterloo and points West!

Sunday, November 20, 2005


1) Writing this on a $4 keyboard. It's possible I like this one best.

2) I find the two photos of Linux and Windows people hilarious on this page. Note the tucked in fleece in the alpha geek.

Go Bears?!

The Bears just spanked Carolina 13-3. Hell yeah! They have gotten better every game, this Kyle Orton kid seems to be the real deal. Record of 7-3(and I think 4-0 in their admittedly poor division).

Saturday, November 19, 2005

You know you like it

  • Christ, is Thanksgiving already next week?

  • A seasonably warm day (as opposed to the unseasonable 13 it was Thursday) afforded me the opportunity to replace the passenger-side steering knuckle in the Contour.

    This is almost identical to mine, except that in my car, the wheel bearing and hub are all captive in the knuckle. So, tearing apart the front end of my car in the parking lot, since everything is attached to the knuckle (axle, strut, brakes, lower control arm and the steering tie-rod.

    I was doing this project to correct the long-standing and oft-annoying noise that my car produced while, well, moving. I had classically believed that it was caused by bad tires, because in the past replacing the tires quieted the noise. However, my most recent tire purchase didn't solve the problem. Which led me to believe (correctly) that a bad wheel bearing was making the noise. As I said earlier, the bearing is captive in the knuckle assembly (*), so it had to go.

    It went well, and fixed the problem. I also had to replace the large (32mm) bolt that holds the driveshaft in place (203 foot pounds of torque!), as it is a "one time use" piece. $14 for a damn bolt. I was annoyed to find some other troubles, however. My alternator (conveniently located behind EVERYTHING), which I knew was dying, was found to be just cracked all to shit. I can't believe it still works. I also found another torn grease boot on the other drive axle. So I have to replace two axles and an alternator. Good times.

    (*) It is not literally captive, but I'd need some kind of hydraulic press to remove and reinsert them. And by the time I've paid to have it done, I'm better off replacing the whole thing.

  • Friday, November 18, 2005

    The $30 million dollar face

    Robert "Mickey" "Don't do the Crime if you can't do the time" "Beretta" Blake is found liable for the death of his wife. I bet it would have been cheaper to pay her to go away. She seemed to be some kind of con artist, she probably would have gone for $3700.

    Thursday, November 17, 2005

    Another good one from Will


    Wednesday, November 16, 2005


    I was enjoying some egg rolls tonight, and as is my habit, enjoying them with that bitter hot mustard you get with them. But this stuff was obviously pharmeceutical grade- it hit a spot inside my head that, literally, blew my mind. For 10 seconds, I was nothing but keeping the top of my head from shooting off and making a mess on the ceiling. I expect that's what the Peruvian Marching Powder is like, except that it is pleasurable and highly addictive. The mustard was pure intensity, which, if it had been pleasureable, I can guarantee I'd be doing right now.

    Anyway, that was dinner. Glad I'm not addicted to blow. Or Chinese Hot Mustard.

    It's no sex cruise,

    But the Bears also know how to get into extra curricular trouble.
    The players apparently concocted the story of the household fall in part to protect the FBI agent who had arranged for them to visit the range.

    Sunday, November 13, 2005

    Election gamesmanship

    George Will speaks!

    Best line:
    Cindy Sheehan, surely a Republican mole toiling to make the anti-war position repulsive,

    Saturday, November 12, 2005

    More Ammo!

    For the anti-pop music snobs.

    The response is so specific at times that it can forecast how a single will perform on the charts and spit out a review, guessing what words will be used to describe it, from "sexy to romantic to loud and upbeat," Mr. Whitman said.

    Friday, November 11, 2005


    children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven

    In what world is this an offensive sign? Especially in a coffee shop??!

    I saw some of these women on the television the other night. I think the shop owner was absolutely right when he said they were "former cheerleaders and beauty queens" who "have a very strong sense of entitlement."

    Another thing I've noticed is how little these people seem to "get it". You're the guardian of a precious little bundle of talc and sweetness, I understand. And I also understand that kids sometimes go berzerk. But they need to know that when that happens, get your coffee and leave. It's just polite, and it teaches the kids to behave when they are in the real world, and outside of the mommy bubble. But in the limited coverage I've seen of this scandal are mommies who

    I'm not sure why I forgot to finish this. My point was that the offended mommies I saw on TV were acting in some weirdly passive-to-the-kid mode. "Please don't yell, little Tommy, or this man will make us leave," or "you don't want mommy to get in trouble, do you?"

    Eric Zorn, who I'm not normally a fan of, has some good stuff here, and there are tons of comments in favor of society. I could only get halfway through before getting bored, and only saw one comment that sort of disagreed with the crowd.


    On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets:
    An Empirical Study

    It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.

    Thursday, November 10, 2005

    Gordon Lightfoot

    Three decades after the tragedy, the Fitzgerald remains the most famous of the 6,000 ships that disappeared on the Great Lakes.

    The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

    Tuesday, November 08, 2005


    OK, let's just start off: this guy is stupid and misguided.

    Summary: last year, he was arrested for attempting to meet a teenage girl (deef too!) for the purposes of sex. Except, like all horny teen girls on the internet, she was really a male law enforcement officer. (In other cases, they might be lusty vigilantes.) (Stupid #1: if you couldn't get 15 year old girls to sleep with you back when you were also 15, you never will when you are 44) Of course, what is rarely reported is that this officer plied Goldman with availability and vulnerability for MONTHS. Not an excuse, just a fact. Every person has a breaking point, and when you're chatting with "girls" on the internet to get your kicks, that point probably isn't too far away.

    He pleaded out and got probation + counselling. Sounds about right to me. He also had to register as a sex offender. Seems a little harsh considering he never actually did anything to anyone.

    Somewhere in there, someone passed a law where sex offenders can't dress up as Santa, the Easter Bunny, Passover Pete, The Thanksgiving Ranger and any other child-tempting jolly holiday entity. The law also specifies unsupervised Halloween candy distribution.

    Guess what the DuPage County sherrif's office was doing on Halloween? Staking out the Goldman house, of course.

    When I counted over the weekend, there were 301 sex offenders on the DuPage County database. Check it out, lots of horrible crimes with victims there. And the county decided to deploy one of the 20 surveillance units to a guy's house who never did anything to anyone. It was a calculated risk, really- they risked that a person who's a real threat to the community, who has already harmed someone else, wouldn't choose Halloween to grab up some kid, and the reward was that they'd get on TV being vigillent.

    So, they apparently got him on tape handing out candy. That's Stupid #2. His lawyer asserts that the kids' parents were there, and thus his visit wasn't unchaperoned. Also included in that is that he can't plead ignorance of the law, since he is currently challenging its constitutionality.

    He's stupid, but kudos to him- his ass is on the line, and he's as much as flipping them the bird. Good for him.

    Again, I'm not condoning his original act. It's just a shame he goes on the same list as rapists and child-molesters.

    Root Beer School

    Do a Google search for "1938 root beer caffeine ban"

    Monday, November 07, 2005

    The worst Ever!

    I was working downtown the other day at our palatial loop offices (lawyers row!) (marble bathrooms!), as I am occasionally wont to do, and I was walking back to my $26 a day parking garage (expense report!) when I got a hankerin' for a Potbelly Sandwich. State & Lake for those who must know. I stepped in to the usual friendly and lively environment- it's in the theater district, and there's some kind of college nearby that produces theater-folk, so it's always a good time in there- and ordered up the usual Italian Sub. I looked into the fridge for a tasty beverage, I usually get the Diet IBC.


    Instead, my eye was drawn to something else. It was some kind of natural thing, actual brewed diet cola. I'd never had actual brewed cola before. I completely failed to notice that there's a green tea component. I like green tea, generally, but probably not in my cola. So anyway, to make a long story short:

    I believe Cricket Cola is the worst shit on the planet. It tastes, in my opinion, like Green Apple Diet Rite spiked with diabetic urine.

    As an aside, this garage and the attached Potbelly are directly behind the Oriental Theater. (Further aside, during the Chicago portion of the Jerry Lewis Telathon, I saw former SNL player Ana Gasteyer painted up green, singing up a storm from the Wicked play. She was still oddly sexy.) One of the sites I go to is directly upstairs of the theatre. Some of the floors are even pitched funny, as if to be the ceiling. Very strange building. Located on the exact site of the Iroquois Theater, site of the second deadliest fire in the country (if you believe the website(check out the gallery, sick stuff, weird website)). And you can't prove it wasn't the genesis of the phrase, "shouting theatre in a crowded fire".

    EDIT: See links for Ana Gasteyer.


    Israeli prisoners find Jesus in prison.

    That's comedy, of course. They didn't actually find Jesus, they found the mosiac floor of an early Christian Church buried in the sand. I imagine the Pope has already put all the good artifacts on double secret probation and shot anyone who knew about them.

    Wednesday, November 02, 2005

    Rare historic documents lost to Katrina

    Could this mean we lost the reciept for the Louisana Purchase? Because that would mean France owns a significant number of the red states. What would be worse for them: being owned by France, or having to move to New York or California?


    Basically, the WHO is telling us that the US spends twice as much money per capita to get significantly worse health care results. Is this because of socialized medicine, or in spite of it? Discuss.


    More free advertising for Abercrombie & Fitch.

    Will the A&F protesters ever realize that they are gettin played, and that the louder they scream the more money A&F makes? If A&F didn't charge $50 for a t-shirt, I'd buy one of them. Wouldn't me in a "who needs brains..." shirt be funny?