Friday, February 23, 2007

A Citizen's Guide to Police Encounters

Here's why the ACLU is hated. Everything in here (Google Video) is perfectly great, but they show people using the Bill of Rights to get away with illegal activity. Nobody likes to see that. I understand that it was done to make the point more real for the kids, but the responsible thing would be to just throw a little something in there about having respect for all the laws, not just the Jedi mind trick ones.

(I enjoy how the ACLU is couched as a far left organization by the righties. Darn those lefties for believing in freedom, and believing that the government's power ought to be restricted, and believing that the government ought to follow the law too!)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Commerce!

My Ford Contour is sold. Hurrah! Now, to the Secretary of State (Illinois' DMV) to remit painful amounts to them for little stickers and bits of paper. I think what kills me the most is the Title fee. In Illinois, a drivers' license is $10. You lose it and need a duplicate? $5! Unbelievably cheap. Plates are $78- a bargain compared to other places. There's also the Use/Sales tax, I completely understand. But to simply transfer ownership, to simply get the title to the vehicle put into your name, it's $65. A damn gun card is like $4. I really wish they could standardize this stuff.

EDIT: FRUCTOSE! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I knew I'd leave my I-Pass (EZ-Pass for Illinois) in my car when I sold it. Luckily, the buyers are the nicest people in the world and will send it back. The lady called me and told me that she headed directly on a roadtrip after picking up the vehicle. That's trust.

And now, Grand Prix!

Monday, February 19, 2007

This is pretty funny

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Thick, Lusterous Hair is Very Important

That episode of Seinfeld was on recently, if not today. Funny, since Britney just shaved her head. Now there's a girl with a lumpy, misshapen head. But I have to say she kinda looks hot, too. Her lumpy head brings out her face. I read somewhere where she was heard saying, as the reason she did it, that she "wanted people to stop touching her". That's kind of a strange thing to say. Sort of like something bad happened. Hope she's ok. Meanwhile, SNAKES! They're all over the walls!

Friday, February 16, 2007

You ain't tryin if you ain't cheatin'

Go Nascar!

You know, I don't mind "cheating" as doing things that aren't in the rule books. After all, Germany Schaefer was an uncle of mine. (He stole second, trying to draw a throw from the catcher, to let the guy on third steal home. It didn't work, and he was safe at second. On the next pitch, he ran back to first base, to position himself to try the sacrifice steal again. Due to his actions, and the draconian baseball rules at the time, he was summarily shot by the bench coach (that position having then been known as the "mastro titta") of the Washington Senators.)) I enjoy the story of the Nascar driver who, when confronted with fuel tank size restrictions, installed 100 feet of fuel line adding gallons to his car's fuel capacity. Comedy! That's cheatin', and I applaud creative rule-reading. But real cheating? Breaking rules that are already codified? Maybe I'm nuts, but I see a huge wall there separating those two concepts.

And once again, for the record, Nascar on Fox is hands down the best television being done today. They actually have cameras installed on the bottom of the cars to see the brakes getting red hot. I think I heard that next season they're actually putting Fantastic Voyage-style telemetry inside the bodies of the drivers. "His heart rate is really going up on turn 6, Jimmy. What do you think is the cause of that? Well, if you look at his sphincter on turns 4 and 5, and I think you can see he's probably got hold of some bad puerco here in beautiful Daytona Beach, Florida!"

Separated at birth?


Delicious

Picked myself up a 12-er of Coke Zero Cherry flavor. I love the Coke Zero, and the Cherry is equally good. Subtle. It's no Cherry RC. But gets the job done...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The best meat on the South side

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Played concept alert!

Television or movie, one or more obsessive hero starts going through some kind of case file looking for clues. Here is where it goes wrong- they start taping the paper on the walls, and due to this they see the heretofore unseen connection that solves the case.

It has now been on one too many show. I expect to see it on EVERY episode of CSI and Without a Trace, from now on, forever. Also, that red headed fellow on the CSI is the worst actor since Jack Lord. At any moment I expect to hear "not on my island-- wait, this is Miami-- Not on my Peninsula, Chow Fat!" Shatner is Olivier or Barrymore compared to this clown.

Signed,
Whit Bissell

Pure comedy gold

I was listening to a presidential press conference today, the language of which was even more Orwellian than usual, when I heard the funniest thing he might have ever said: (this is not verbatim, but close enough for a quote)
"We need to find more sources for ethanol production, because using only corn increases corn demand, which raises prices, which causes the hog farmers to become disgruntled."
HA!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Would you like to buy a car?

I'm selling my car. Know anyone looking?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Geniuses?

What do the various Apple fans who read this have to say about this kind of repair setup?

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Foul!

I was in the liquor store today, and felt the need to try something new. So I got a pint of Courvoisier. Not pleasant. Almost bought President Truman's favorite, Old Granddad. But I know what bourbon tastes like, and didn't know what cognac/brandy tasted like. And now I am free!

Shame

Anna Nicole Smith died today. What a shame. As is detailed on this blog, I have questions... That Howard K. Stern guy is creepy. Expect to see this on Law and Order in a week.

Awesome

Pontiac!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The horror.

Pizza Pizza!

I heard a commercial on the radio for Papa John's franchising opportunities in my area. That gave me a taste for the stuff. Turns out the nearest location is in Munster, IN. What's up with that? There used to be locations around here. Some franchisee must have lost everything...

Have I done my franchisee rant lately? For the most part, a motley crew of burnouts, contract-buyout-ees and social misfits. Sure, it's for the person who wants a change. But you'd have to be a psycho to want to open up one of these things (generally, of course), because I damn well promise you that to make the kind of money you're used to making (assuming you earned your seed money working) you are going to have to work harder than you want to. Because if you were that brilliant of an manager/entrepreneur/businessperson, you wouldn't probably be doing a franchise deal, you'd be a CEO of some place.

(I've actually seen budgets of various actual franchise operations. There are very bumpy economies of scale. You can do OK (generally) as a one-man operation, where you are the 60-hour a week on site manager. But to profitably expand, you pretty much need as many stores as you can personally supervise. Because now you're paying someone to be in the stores all the time. If you accidentally have more stores than you can personally supervise, now you've got to pay some kind of area manager. It's very complicated. There's no free lunch. Except government work, of course. Gotcha!)

Oh my sweet jesus.

I went through another week of trying to get blogger to reset my password, when I realized that, AGAIN, I have forgotten that my username is an email address.

My memory has been for shit lately.

Hello everyone out there! Prepare to be dazzled.